You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
