I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize