Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize