I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
