Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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