So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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