Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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