That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
