the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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