If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
