Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.

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(716): View more from New York

Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting

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(512): View more from Texas

this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on

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(609): View more from New Jersey

im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...

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(207): View more from Maine

Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.

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(320): View more from Minnesota

she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride

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(631): View more from New York

I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...

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