she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
