Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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