How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
We are two peas in an std pod
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
