1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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