thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
