She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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