Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
