Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize