Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
