bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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