I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
NoShamevember. You game?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
