Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
