I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
