I'm gonna have a badass scar
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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