So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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