I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
