Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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