a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
