I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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