i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
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