wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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