And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
