READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
