you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
