I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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