Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
