Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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