I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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