shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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