No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
