i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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