Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
