I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
