Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
