I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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