Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize