let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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