I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He did a backflip because drugs
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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