ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
