Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
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I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
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Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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