I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
