I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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