I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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