Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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