dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
