I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
