Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
