If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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