He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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