You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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