Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
