Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
It's rum buckets o'clock
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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